Emotional Times

I have been "off" since Walter died. It seems I lost my focus for a while. I have not been eating breakfast regularly, I have been skipping lunch, and eating things that are not healthy for me. It has truly been an emotional eating time. I will need to process this with the nutritionist when I meet with her next week. Maybe the nut doctor too. I have to learn how to get a handle on that when bad or good things happen. I imagine that's part of what got me here in the first place.
I've been sad and lonely. It's hard to come home when I know he's not there waiting for me. He was truly a one-person dog, and I was that person.
Someday, I might think about another dog, but not now.
You know what else I did? I bought new clothes. So much for my resolution! It's a comfort thing, I'm sure of that. Just like the food. Makes me think of how much our own self-talk drives us.
I need to get a handle on this; I can't go the rest of my life feeling and being fat, lonely, unloved. It sucks.
This is the first time I have really thought about being lonely. I like living alone, don't get me wrong. I just think it would be nice to have a person in my life that I could call anytime, and he would come over, or I would go to his house, and just be comforted, and have conversation, and....you know. :)
It's been many years; I often think I am turning into my mother, who really became a lonely, bitter old woman before she died. I don't want to be that person. I would love to be one of those silver-haired old ladies who has more energy than I have now. I don't know; I guess I'm just feeling dispirited right now, and I'm sure that most of it is grief and mourning. I would love to put a timetable on that, and decide that on such and such a date, I will be done with it. But we all know that it doesn't happen that way. I just have to get through it.